He smiles as if a secret-
He laughs as if in jest-
And when he looks at me
He ignores all the rest.

I will not share his secrets-
Though not at all for shame.
For he is not a product
Of his given name.

He is that which binds me-
And keeps me to this ground-
And that which also frees me
And let’s me leave this ground.

You see he is my Lover-
My best confidant and friend.
He’s the place I long for-
At each weekly day’s end.

I’m reminded of my surroundings-
I’m stolen away by time-
I sometimes forget he’s the reason
Behind my woven rhyme.

My Muse is not perfect.
He has his ups and downs.
He’s blinded at times with anger-
And sometimes wears a frown.

But he is my given solace-
Not my ending but my start-
He is my blessed future-
And he’s always got my Heart.

-Tabitha Castillo

A smile seeking stranger during an inner winless fight -

These are the ways my Lord speaks to me when I don’t think there’s a way -

When my whole Life’s left in peril and I can’t face another day.

For when the Earth seems it’s meanest and when Time seems to flee -

When the day is it’s darkest and when there is no “right place” to be –

When you hang your head shameful – As if pity is an Art -

That’s when you need to hand over everything and let God heal your Heart.

When I can’t look myself in the eye for all the times I dare –

When I think that Life would be more simple without my being there –

And when I can’t bring myself to believe the thought that He Loves me.

That’s when God open’s my eyes and allows me to see -

That we are all the paint brush in His mighty hand -

Meant to paint a picture of Mercy for all our fellow man.

Spreading imperfect kindness in an ever changing time –

No, we are not forsaken by this God of mine.

And so I end with saying, in words both tried and true –

In words that ring with Honesty to calm and comfort you.

A little single simple fact that many might find to be odd–

“What we are is God’s gift to us – What we become is our gift to God.”

- Tabitha Castillo

Time can tick a thousand chimes -
And all the more shall bring -
The countless hours countless times -
I miss him above everything.

For morning’s deepest sorrow yet -
Is not farewell to day-
Its waking up to a lack of him.
To never know of this I pray.

For he’s the one I’ve searched for -
And with him I am found.
My Life, My Love, My Hero -
My Angel on solid ground.

-Tabitha Castillo

Though the same sun keeps on shining
Though a new moon shows its face -
Though your feet stay firmly planted -
In the exact same – changing place.

The days of old todays are going.
Because tomorrows are on their way.
They cannot stop and change their path -
Though you would bid them stay.

Don’t appoint your wasted tears -
For things that never last.
For the Winds of Change still blowing -
Are blowing -
Keep blowing -
The winds Of Change now blowing -
Blowing away the past.

- Tabitha Castillo

Speaking words you couldn’t seem to find.
Finding solace in the beats of a rhyme.
Like a hug on a not-so-good day.
The way a smile can take your worries away.
A brand new day when there seemed no hope.
The triumph of helping a Loved one cope.
Like a tossing boat finding peaceful seas-
I remember God, you’ve not forgotten me.

The smell of your home when you’ve been gone -
The pride in finding a raging Hope won.
Like a card in the mail from someone you knew.
The care in knowing someone thought of you.
A waiting friend on a very late start.
I know that you always have me in your Heart.
When I find these little things I know that it’s true-
Help this Loved friend of mine remember that too.

-Tabitha Castillo

I need more then you are giving me
And much more then you can say.
I need to have so much more of you-
Enough to make me stay.
I seek time where Love can find you-
And peace to keep me here.
I seek words to put to your actions-
I seek Faith to put out Fear.
Actions speak volumes though-
You won’t say the words.
My Heart was placed long ago-
And what you won’t say hurts.
You are so close now to losing me-
And there will be nothing left to do.
Then to turn around and walk away-
From the man I thought I knew.

-Tabitha Castillo

I found this sample of my high school writing among some of my old belongings. Thought that I would share it (This is one of two I found written on the same piece of notebook paper. Cute, huh?).

How you hold me tightly….
Helpless beneath your grasp.
Sometimes I feel you’re seeing-
The face behind the mask.

You hold me though unknowing.
I sigh beneath your grip.
I long to kiss the softness-
Of every grasping tip.

The waves of time keep sending
The message to my brain.
I feel the every movement-
Of what I can’t obtain.

With every waking moment
Of being close and near,
I shed the signs of happiness,
With every falling tear.

- Tabitha Castillo

Found this recently in my old high school belongings. Thought that I would share

100 billion of them up there
All shining in the sky,
But all I have is one wish
You know exactly why.

You’ve watched me. Seen me closely-
Even though you are so far.
You saw me when I met him-
Oh, shining wishing star.

You’ve seen beneath my mask now
And though he doesn’t know
You see the scars are written-
On what I never show.

You’ve seen the many reasons
That I choose to hide
You’ve seen me outside wishing
You’ve seen my inside pride.

I wish that when it’s night-time,
He’ll see and then he’ll know.
He’ll see what I have written-
On starry moonlight glow.

- Tabitha Castillo